Skerri's blog

Sep 5, 2013

I'm working on my folded book art installation. I'm hoping they start to fan out. #artistlife

Aug 28, 2013

Meet Steve!

"Googly Eyes Included" or "Steve"

 I currently work part time at Barnes & Noble, and have worked there for 8 years. I love my job, even though I only work one or two slacker shifts a week. Plus the discount is great.  When I have downtime at work, I like to search Book Master for interesting titles, subjects, authors etc. The most common of my searches is: “Jim Henson, Kermit, Muppets” and one book always comes up… “The Muppets Make Puppets” by Cheryl Henson. Sadly, this book has been out of print for at least a couple of decades. Bummer.

Today I decided to make a trip to the thrift shops to look for material I can use for my upcoming installation project. I wasn’t very successful at the 1^st thrift shop, so I headed to Arc to see what they had in stock. Nothing at Arc was catching my eye, so I cruised around and made a stop at the book section. As I walked past the bargain table that was set up with several large boxes filled with miscellaneous titles, I saw a pair of very familiar googly eyes peeking at me from over the large hardcover book in front. I got excited because they were the same king of “googly” as my favorite pair of googly eyes who only belong to Kermit!!!  The book was “The Muppets Make Puppets” complete with all the Muppet making materials still in the plastic bubble! “Googly eyes included!” Music to my ears! It was destined to be mine!  

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Earlier this week, I made a trip to King Soopers for groceries. I went to the fish counter and bought 2 fresh Halibut steaks. I asked the butcher to shrink wrap them on a tray so I could freeze it for later use.  I continued to walk through the aisles and I saw an elderly man fall on the floor. Three men stopped to help him up. I figured he had slipped. I carried on with my shopping and I came to the front of the aisle when I saw the same elderly man fall and face plant on the hard linoleum floor. Several people stopped. An off duty paramedic took charge and he yelled “someone call 911!” You would think in this day and age, more people would have reached for their cell phones. It turns out; I was the only one who made the call. I can only assume all the gawkers were really close to running over their daytime minutes. Yeah! That’s it. Anyways, everyone but the King Soopers manager, the off duty paramedic and I were the only ones that stayed to see the elderly man off to the ambulance. After the elderly man was taken off on the stretcher, I turned to the off duty paramedic and said “Thank you! You were pretty great.” And his only reply was “Well, I like to think so.”  Huh…. Way to ruin a compliment, Cocky!

 Earlier today, I got an email regarding an upcoming art show that I am really excited for. My head had thought of so many more ideas since I had submitted my concept sketch, and I have been thinking of ways to improve or add to it. One of these ideas was to add a parasitic critter to my piece, but I was having difficulties deciding what kind of parasite to make him. I literally was thinking about parasites all day. I even texted my veterinarian friend with “In your professional opinion, which parasite do you believe to be cutest?” She must be busy because I never received a response.

This evening, I decided we were going to have those lovely Halibut steaks for dinner tonight. They had been thawing all day. I fired up the grill and started to make dinner. I went to cut through the plastic on the meat tray and I saw this little thing….like a little squiggle… like a…OMG! It’s a WORM!!!! Literally laying on the tray a wiggles distance away from the halibut. This can only mean he was still alive when the fish was being frozen!!! Then he made the decision to jump ship or jump flesh to avoid his icy death. “Parasites, it’s what eats your dinner before you do.” And with that our appetites also died along with the once wiggly parasite.

I would love to spend this time and hate on the little worm, but he did have perfect timing. I guess I don’t have to make that decision on which type of parasite I should add to my art installation anymore. The winner is this parasitic worm named Steve, or so said the name tag he was wearing when we met.    

   

 

Jul 27, 2013

This is the spider equivalent to hiding in someone's house and only placing a lampshade over your head.

My 3 year blogging hiatus can only be blamed on the fact I was trapped under something incredibly heavy. I will never mock the "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up" lady on TV ever again.

Squeaky Bra

Because I am so open with pretty much everything that happens to me, I sometimes forget not every one is "on board"! I do not mean to exclude anyone. I tell, joke and post about things that I think will amuse others. I'm just trying to get a laugh and bring a smile to others. I also really appreciate other's feedback or comments. This also helps me process the humor in my day-to-day life. Apparently a recent topic that I have been posting about has sparked some questions. I will try to explain. :)


I bought a new bra. Nothing fancy. Simple fit with under-wire. This is not a bra that defies gravity bringing my boobs up to my ears or mashes them together bringing them close to my neck so that they become a chin rest. After properly laundering my new bra, I wore it a couple of days ago when I had a full day of errands ahead of me. I stopped at Super Target to pick up a few items and loaded up my shopping cart. As I was waited in line to check out, I reached into my basket with both arms to lift out items I planned to purchase, and with every bend of my waist, reaching of my arms and placing items on the conveyor belt I heard "squeak". I heard it....yet I also felt it around my ribs. Puzzled, I continued emptying out my cart, with each reach I got a "squeak". Then I realized the sound was coming from my bra! The last item in my basket was a flat of bottled water and as I lifted it up onto the conveyor belt I heard a louder "SQUEAK"! The woman next to me in line surely heard this! I politely smiled at her. I felt the need to apologize for my squeaky bra....yet was not then 100% sure. OK- I was a) not a 100% sure it was my bra... it was just a working theory at this moment b) was not 100% sure, but like 99% sure the lady next to me heard the squeak since she was one of "those" who don't know personal space or appropriate spacing in lines and c) not sure this rough looking lady cared to hear about my newly identified "squeaky bra" issue. I would also like to point out at this time she probably didn't even wear a bra herself, so clearly I would not get any sympathy from her.
I noticed throughout the rest of the day that I heard varied volumes of "squeaks" coming from my bra! It was like a game to figure out which exact movements produced the loudest "squeak". It was a fun, new game that was sweeping the nation. And by "nation" I mean me in my car. After several experiments, I found that the "squeak" was produced by the underwire being super tightly sewn into the fabric of the bra. So with every twist, the fabric would rub against the wire creating this noise! Just fabric and wire!?! I mean, this is what I imagined Lady Gaga's metal whirligig bra would sound like. Or perhaps a bra that had live animals living in each cup. Which was also a weird thought....I was not blessed with a plethora of bosom so I could maybe comfortably house 2 mice per cup, at best! And that's without me in it! LMAO!

But the real fun part was telling Ryan about this new dilemma. Ryan has a serious job, dealing with serious situations and seeing some really serious things. Ryan had come home later that day from a blood spatter class and was winding down from the day. He discussed his day and when it came my turn to tell, I walked up to him, stuck my chest in his face and said "listen!"

*For the record...sadly...I think I can play "squeaky bra" better than my banjo. True story! 

I seriously thought I was a lone victim/ survivor of Squeaky Bra. I think we should start a 5K race/walk to spread Squeaky Bra awareness to others of you who have not been affected by loud and unruly unmentionables!

I liked that these parents built their kids a giant hamster wheel on their playground!

I expected more flair at this street corner.

That's where I park my Army car too!

Who need wi-fi in the crapper?